Monday Night Observations

I can't even

I watched the Cardinals-Chargers game first because I had Marvin Harrison and JK Dobbins going. Also one share of James Conner. Conner did okay, but the Cardinals just can’t complete a forward pass to save their lives. They want to get the ball to Harrison, but he’s never open, and Kyler Murray is too herky-jerky, too hectic to get the offense into any kind of flow.

The Chargers are even worse. Justin Herbert only throws to fifth-tier tight ends, and the team can’t run block. Imagine watching that whole game, hoping for fantasy production.

I actually watched the other game in its entirety too because I had Zay Flowers, Roquan Smith, Isaiah Likely, Chris Godwin and Bucky Irving going. Smith got 18 tackles, but that was about it. I had hoped for more from Godwin, especially after Mike Evans got hurt. I watched until the Bucs final TD to make it 41-31 because I knew the final score (which they annoyingly post in the upper corner of the Chargers-Cardinals game) and turned it off. Obviously nothing was going to happen with two minutes left and the score already final. So it wasn’t until an hour later while reading Twitter that I realized somehow the best player on my Primetime team, Godwin, is probably out for the year.

As I said, I can’t even. And this after wasting almost two hours watching the edited versions which always fucking replay every tackle behind the line and haven’t figured out that when there’s a false start, and the announcer says it you don’t have to cut to the ref and have him formally announce it. We can tell by the down and distance on the next play. Same with holding. Edit out the refs wherever possible.

• Kyler Murray has the fastest feet in the league. If only he could play quarterback.

• Marvin Harrison is long and lanky like A.J. Green or Randy Moss. He’s not lightning quick or doing anything special on his routes. Accordingly, throw it deep to him and let him make a play. A 12-yard out on the sideline while covered ain’t it.

• James Conner is a beast. He’ll probably get hurt, but he runs hard every play and is competent as a pass catcher too.

• The Cardinals punted on 4th-and-2 from midfield at one point. I don’t care about what the math says, but when you see that, it’s a sell for fantasy players. The Texans are like that too.

• Ladd McConkey might have been playing hurt, but they need to get the ball in his hands. He’s quick and fast.

• Lamar Jackson and the Ravens offense is so effortless and smooth. It’s like he’s barely trying, and suddenly he has five TD passes. Derrick Henry too looks like he’s moving in slow motion, and suddenly he’s sprinting with gigantic strides, and no one can catch him. I’m ashamed to admit I passed up Jackson in one league and took Anthony Richardson a few picks later.

• Mark Andrews is all the way back to top-three TE status. It’s him, George Kittle and Brock Bowers.

• Rashod Bateman is a good player for the Ravens even if he’s unstartable due to target volatility. He stretches the field for them, gives them that dimension.

• Baker Mayfield is Brett Favre .90. Not 2.0, not 1.0, but .90, a slightly worse version willing to sling the ball into traffic and scramble badly. He’s fucked with Godwin maybe done and Evans possibly missing some time.

• All the backs looked good to me, but Mayfield seems to trust the GigaRachaad the most. Cade Otton might be a top-seven TE with Godwin and maybe Evans out too, though it looked like he got concussed three times.

• Just a perfect cap off to one of the worst weeks of fantasy football I’ve ever experienced.