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Steak League Dinner
Every year we do the RotoWire Steak League, and while the league itself is low stakes ($20 per entry), we have a side bet wherein among six of us, the top three in total points eat for free at Taylor’s Steakhouse, fourth place buys his own meal, fifth buys for himself and one eater and last buys for himself and two eaters. So it’s 1/6, 1/3, 1/2, respectively, with three free eaters. (Some years there are seven people in the bet, but I’ll use the example of six for simplicity.)
Now, you can imagine the warped incentives here. If you are an eater, there is no limit to what you can order, so long as you consume it at the table. (One year, Jason Thornbury wanted to bring home a second chocolate cake for his wife, and we had to put the kibosh on that.) I have fantasized in the past about ordering four NY steaks and stacking them like pancakes. I have in reality ordered the surf and turf along with a full shrimp scampi entree as my appetizer along with soup, salad, sides, dessert and lots of wine and booze.
While one might reasonably wonder why a person would stuff himself to the point of discomfort to collect on a bet, realize eaters have a higher calling than merely enjoying themselves. We have what can only be described as a sacred duty, if you will, to incentivize buyers to do better the following season. I am not ordering that extra shrimp cocktail because I need it, I’m doing it so you can beyond any doubt understand the consequences of your shitty draft strategy, your sloppy in-season management, your lackluster attitude in fantasy football and life generally.
It is an honor to give back to those who need it, I am happy to be an eater this year and vow to do my part on behalf of the buyers. In fact, to that end, I thought I’d use this forum to crowd-source my order Saturday night.
I’ve included screen-shots of the menu below and am asking for suggestions. I will take this feedback seriously — far more seriously than I would any football-related feedback — and will do my utmost to fulfill as many requests as humanly possible.
This is the Saturday special:
Here’s the seafood. Remember, to me, “Seafood” reads as “appetizers”:
Here are some entrees (I left off the cheap stuff like the hamburgers and chicken):
Of course there are salads and sides, but they’re so cheap I won’t bother to list them. Taylor’s is not expensive as far as LA steakhouses go, so please do not hold back on your recommendations.
I booked the reservation for six, and for some reason they gave us a private room:
Here are the characters at the dinner:
Here’s what I ended up getting:
Martini, rocks olives
Four glasses of red wine
Sea of Cortez Prawns (charbroiled) as an appetizer.
Shrimp cocktail (pictured below)
6. Wedge salad (third appetizer)
7. NY Steak (medium rare) with fries (They were out of the lobster, otherwise, I would have had Surf and Turf.)
8. NY Steak (rare) with fries (first one was slightly overcooked for me, so I ate it and ordered another.) It was good, but the last few bites (which I finished) were Great Outdoors-esque.
9. Creme Brulee
I don’t remember what the final tally was — I was drunk and stuffed at that point, and in any event, it didn’t concern me.
But let no one allege I didn’t do my part.