Super Bowl Observations

Fantastic Game

I didn’t realize how much I had missed a good old fashioned Super Bowl blowout. I wasn’t even gonna bet the game, but over the last couple days, I got an Eagles vibe. There was too much, “The refs won’t let the Chiefs lose”, and Patrick Mahomes and Taylor Swift, and other noise, and yet the line didn’t budge. It was obvious the Eagles were the sharper side, and they had the league’s best defense, which usually correlates to overperformance of the spread in Super Bowls, sometimes massive overperformance.

But it wasn’t any one thing — just an overall dawning on me that the Eagles were probably the right side. I didn’t feel that strongly about it, even so, and decided I’d just bet Saquon Barkley for MVP, get 3:1 or so if the Eagles won. So I texted someone in the states to place the bet for me, and best he could offer was +175! That’s a terrible value for a RB to win MVP! A few minutes later Tim Schuler offered to bet me $50, give me the Eagles +1, and I obliged him. After that, I texted my friend back to put $500 on the Eagles +1 for me.

Of course, I didn’t stay up all night to watch — after losing 1K on the Falcons (who were up 28-3 in the third quarter at 3 am) eight years ago, never again. So I caught the 40-minute version this morning. What a great game! The Eagles dominated from start to finish. The defensive line got after Mahomes on every play. And while the Chiefs sold out to stop Barkley, Jalen Hurts ran wild on them.

I’m sure I would have enjoyed a Chiefs blowout less, but the beauty of a blowout is it settles things. There’s no looking back at a bad call, a dropped pass or a fumble and wondering what might have been. Close games have drama, but they are more or less arbitrary. I mean I get it, the guy made the throw at the time with the game on the line, but maybe also he just got the cheap roughing the passer call or the ticky tack PI. When the Giants won the Super Bowl on Scott Norwood’s miss, I didn’t have the same sense of satisfaction I did when they blew out John Elway’s Broncos five years earlier. Yes, they won, but it might as well have been on a coin flip.

I grew up on blowouts in the ‘80s — Raiders-Redskins, 49ers-Dolphins, Pats-Bears, Giants-Broncos, Redskins-Broncos — only the Bengals managed to keep Super Bowl losses close (Congratulations Jeff Erickson!) This was before replay reviews and all the lawyering about what is and isn’t a completed catch. The last fucking thing you wanted was some controversy about who really outplayed whom. So it was nice to win some easy money and not to have to worry about refs or fumbles or untimely drops for a change.

• I wanted Saquon to win MVP, but he drew the attention of the KC defense, is one of the best I’ve ever seen in blitz pickup and still had 97 yards from scrimmage. One of the all-time great years from an all-time great back. (He broke Terrell Davis’ record for the most yardage, regular season and playoffs, too, albeit in two extra games.)

• Hurts threw the one bad pick under pressure, but it served as a good punt, and otherwise had a near perfect game. Only four other incomplete passes, 72 yards and a score on the ground. He was an easy MVP call.

• I was a little worried about shaky Jake Elliott, but he drilled all four of his field goals, three of them twice!, due to penalties.

• Patrick Mahomes padded his stats in garbage time, but he got crushed. An elite defense that gets home with four is the way you kill the GOATS. The Giants did it to Tom Brady twice.

• Xavier Worthy had a nice garbage-time stat-padding game, but he was the only one. DeAndre Hopkins had a bad drop, though they got him a garbage-time feel-good TD, basically a participation trophy.

• Congrats to Lane Johnson, Brandon Graham, Elliott and long-snapper Rick Lovato — the only four players in NFL history to defeat both Tom Brady and Mahomes in Super Bowls.

• The only negative is I lost my $50 four-teams bet with Erickson. I had the Chiefs, Bills, Lions and Ravens, he had the field. But I directed Schuler to pay him, which is good, because I cancelled Paypal for their retarded foray into free-speech policing, and now I don’t have to figure out a workaround.