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The Team I Wished I Had Drafted
The Team I Wish I Had Drafted
Now that my fantasy season is over (except for my Steak League team desperately trying to claw its way out of buying dinner for vengeful psychos), I'd like to focus on what might have been. If I only knew on draft day what I know now, here's the team I would have assembled:
Round 1: Travis Kelce
I love drafting a 33-YO tight end with my first pick, especially when he’s the only decent one in the league. Oh, you’re taking Jonathan Taylor at 1.2? Happy to sidebet for any amount!
Round 2: Patrick Mahomes
I can’t believe idiots are taking running backs and wide receivers this round. Quarterback is the most important position — they score the most points! — and I get to stack Mahomes with Kelce.
Round 3: Josh Jacobs
I think he’s got a ton of upside this year, and they’ll force-feed him. Ignore prior durability concerns, those were just bad luck. He’s a three-down beast who will go off even if the Raiders are terrible this year. And yes, name your sidebet.
Round 4: Amon-Ra St. Brown
Ecstatic he fell to me. I was jumping for joy for the guys ahead of me took Allen Robinson and Courtland Sutton. Then they wanted to sidebet after I mocked them too.
Round 5: Amari Cooper
LOL, like I care who the quarterback is. Cooper is a baller!
Round 6: Tony Pollard
I need a second back, and I’d rather have a part-time stud than a full-time scrub like Leonard Fournette.
Round 7: Tyler Lockett
What if Geno Smith is actually an upgrade from Russell Wilson? What’s so funny?
Round 8: Garrett Wilson
I love rookie receivers on the Jets. They have QB1 and Joe Flacco!
Round 9: Patriots Defense
It’s absurd people wait until the end of the draft for a dominant defense.
Round 10: Jamaal Williams
Dude is just a touchdown machine, any way you slice it.
Round 11: Christian Watson
I know Aaron Rodgers doesn’t trust rookie receivers, but I expect Watson to blow up for a few weeks in the second half.
Round 12: Jerick McKinnon
I needed a third back, someone who could go off in the fantasy playoffs. Like CEH is suddenly going to be good and stay healthy. This is Damien Williams all over again.
Round 13: Zay Jones
He drops a lot of passes, but I need someone who could go off in the Week 15 fantasy playoffs and have a feeling Jones could be that guy.
Round 14: Cowboys Kicker
I like pairing my stud kicker and second running back. Plus the Cowboys strike me as a field-goal heavy team. Justin Tucker is decent, but give me Maher this year.
Round 15: Richie James
Kenny Golladay is done, the Giants have soured on Kadarius Toney and Sterling Shepard is never healthy. James could be useful for Week 17 against the Colts.
Round 16: KJ Osborne
If you want to make the championship, waste a first-round pick on Justin Jefferson. If you want to win, you start Osborne in Weeks 15 and 17.
Round 17: Kendrick Bourne
A great blocker and I think he could be big in Week 16 against the Bengals.
Round 18: Trey McBride
I don’t plan to bench Kelce very often, but with a championship on the line, a real man goes McBride.
Round 19: Colts Defense
I love using them against the Vikings in Week 15. Granted, they could struggle in the second half somewhat, but this is must-start.
Round 20: Marcus Mariota
He could be useful in Week 8, when Mahomes is on bye.
This obviously isn't the best possible team I could have drafted, but I'm positive it would have made the playoffs and crushed in every round. And the side-bet revenue would probably exceed whatever the league prize is.